Blog Archives

Free Me

breaking%20chainsFree me from these chains I carry
Weighing down my load
Free me from the worries that eat at me
Eroding my soul
Free me from the pains afflicting me
Punching me in the heart
Free me from what I can not control
Save me from myself.
 
Free me from all self pity
Others push away
Free me from hanging my head
Let me see the sky
Free me from the things that bind me
Keeping me in the past
Free me from this helpless feeling
Give me a reason to go on.
 
So, who is there to free you anyways?
Who is keeping you locked away?
Who is beating down upon you?
Who is keeping you locked away?
Free me, you say, free me…
Free me, you say…
Free me
Look into the reflection before you…
Free yourself!
 
Free me from this negative spiral
Dragging me deeper still
Free me from the life I’m livin’
Give me what I need
Free me the dark despair
Bring me some of that joy
Free me this lonely existance
Save me from myself.
 
So, who is there to free you anyways?
Who is keeping you locked away?
Who is beating down upon you?
Who is keeping you locked away?
Free me, you say, free me…
Free me, you say…
Free me
Look into the reflection before you…
Free yourself!
 
 
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Snow, Alone

“There are often times, O God, when I feel alone, and yet I know in my heart that I am never alone. You are always there waiting for me to speak to You of my desires, hopes and dreams.

Yet how seldom do I reach out to You to voice my gratitude for all that is beautiful in my life…all the gifts of my life. Love, family, friendship have come from You.

But the greatest gift of all is Your presence, which time and again has given me strength, faith and courage.

Now, in the midst of doubt and confusion, I need to know that You are beside me in the depth of my being. With You there, I know I am not alone-ever.

My Friend, my strength, my God.”  ~ from Gates of Healing

I have struggled with this prayer, as I have with some others, since Rabbi Pam gave me the book Gates of Healing after my mother’s death. In meeting with her this week, we talked about interpretations, finding my own meanings in the prayers I have chosen, or were chosen for me, to say. She talked of how the great Rabbi’s of the past have “riffed” on passages, giving them context to the situations of their lives at that time.

One thing she said, when I confessed  my confusion of still not finding the belief so deeply in God as others around me: look as God within the faces/presence of those who surround me, who offer me love and caring and goodness of their hearts. Not as an abstract, but placed before me in the people who are here. It took me off to the side, examining her words, and this prayer came to mind, and has been very strong the last few mornings.

What has given me strength, faith and courage in the midst of all that I’ve gone through are those loved ones, friends and family, known or internet only known, who have been there for me. If, as she says, God shows his presence, then yes, God has, time and again, given me that greatest gift.

This, by the way, was not the interpretation we discussed. I’ll save that for another post, as I’m still mulling it over, and want to pull my thoughts and feelings together.

Today is a snow day, as we are awaiting a blizzard of EPIC proportions (epic is for the newscasters who are predicting doom and gloom). I’ll be home, alone (hence the title of this piece), writing, sending out resumes, reading, and contemplating things, and at times, just watching the snow come down.

blizzard_trees102606There is a beauty in snow falling

When you can sit back and just watch it fall

It drifts, blows, gathers

And the silence it brings,

The clean coat covering,

The softness spreads out before you.