I am waiting to hear back from four different job possibilities (one from an interview; three others to do screenings) and it just drives me bonkers. I know my son is waiting to hear back from his Friday in NYC interview from a job he really wants. I’m not calling him/contacting him simply because he, also, is on pins and needles. My friend Kim is waiting to hear back from two different potential positions; Richard waited almost three months (I think) to land a pretty big consulting gig…the list goes on.
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know I don’t like platitudes. I’m not one for “well, a better (something) is waiting for you down the road”, no matter how good the intention of the person. For me, looking for full time work since 2010….yeah, I’ve had it with waiting. I need, and deserve, to use my talents and skills, which I have many of, and I need to use them in the now.
I know that I am doing just about all I can. In this job market, and with my age, it makes finding jobs harder. I feel the need/push to create something again, and maybe that is what this is all about, because I’ve been fighting that need. My indecision, and fear, is holding me back, and I’m not sure what is the band-aid and what is the right direction.
I’ve heard “Let go and let God” from some; I wrestle with that concept, not willingly fighting it, just having trouble grasping the whole premise. I know that I wasn’t even looking for a relationship when I discovered one. The duality of waiting and being proactive war inside of me.
Make love, not war.
A day later…
I find I’m of such mixed emotions, feelings in regards to learning more patience, accepting what is before me. Instead of tearing apart what I wrote above, I’m letting it be, as I try to figure out how to really deal with what is going on. One of the key things that helps is the support I get from loved ones. As always, thanks should be given to them for what they do for me. I know many say, or feel, I should thank God as well. That is my work in progress.
It seems that that is an ongoing thing; from my perspective, it is what doing the prayers is about. It’s not only when times are tough/horrible, but the every day. I need to remember that.
Posted on April 11, 2013, in Anger, Caring, counseling, Despair, Family, Fear, Friends, Healing, Inspiration, Meditations, Mindfulness, Prayers, Psalms, Spiritual, Support, Uncategorized and tagged anxiety, caring, counseling, depression, Fear, frustration, giving thanks, God, jobless, jobs, Loneliness, love, mental health, patience, searching for work, Talking to God, unempolyment. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.