Inadvertently Helping Others

helpWhen I began this blog, it was to help myself. It was not a challenge but a goal to feel better, to dig myself out of the despair that resulted from my mother’s death. Her passing went deeper than the loss of a parent: I found one of the roles that I had taken on for a very long time, as caretaker, gone; I was also alone, for the first tme in a very long time; and while working, I did not have a steady income. Add to that all the things I have had to go through in the apartment (and it is still not complete)…

Along the way,  readers  have told me that what I write has been inspiring to them. That does mean a lot to me, even though I may not say it enough here. It’s been told to me via messages left here, or in private communications.

There are many people who do go out of their way to help others, and their deed usually gets some attention. What about when, by doing something, without realizing it, you find that what you’ve done has had a positive effect on another?

Lately I’ve been hearing back from others, about the small things that do matter. I started to make a list of positive things I’ve done without knowing it that has helped someone else. That is not what I want to do here: toot my own horn. I’d really like to know from those who do read this blog:

What have you done, inadvertently, that has lightened someone’s day/journey? What joy have you brought without even realizing you were doing it? It was just inherent, a part of you, you shared or helped or offered…and whatever you did wound up a gift to someone else.


About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on April 2, 2013, in Caring, counseling, Family, Friends, Healing, Love, Mindfulness, Support, Therapy, Transformation, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. wisdomandlife

    Hi Stuart:
    My best friend has been going through a few challenges recently and sometimes I feel as if I’m not doing enough. However I’m constantly reminded day in and day out just how much I am doing.

    Just listening and offering advice when it is asked for. One of things I always say before offering any advice is:
    “This worked for me. Not saying it will work for you.”

    It is just so nice to know that I can be the shoulder now because I’m convinced my best friend came to me as a test.

    See, Stuart? Growing up I was the person who needed support from my friends. I’m convinced that God gave me my best friend to pay back my karmic debt.

    I’m there as often as I can be and I don’t even know that I’m helping until I’m told how important I am. I never have done anything I do for my friends expecting anything in return. It’s simply who I am.


  2. I think part of true mindfulness is trying to remember that most of what we say and do will have some effect, good or bad, on those around us. We may not know the effects, but it’s nice when we hear – even years later – that a kind word or deed has made someone’s life a little better. 🙂

  3. Laura Hedgecock

    Hi Stuart. Interesting question
    I just got home from flying to Virginia to my uncle’s funeral. Hopefully it meant something to my aunt — I want her to know how much I love her, but I also went for myself.

    Actually, most of the time we don’t know how our actions affect others.

    I went with youth from Detroit to New Orleans last summer. The kids were truly moved by shop-keepers who told them Thanks for coming. I doubt the shop-keepers knew what it meant to the kids to be acknowledged like that. They were just being themselves.

    Laura Hedgecock

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