Burdens (100th post)
Etched into the faceThe eyes The shoulders, tensed Fingers rigidly grasped Broadcasting Observed, Those who see Who are aware Who open up beyond themselves Who are concerned. Unfathomable to so many An abyss lies before them What they see is the darkness That they detour Avoid Move away from Not understanding The darkness is the abyss As the abyss is that someone Who could not detour Avoid Move away Who is in that abyss Plunging down. Light comes in many forms But it has to be taken in Wished for Prayed for Delivered By one’s own doings It is a burden On top of so many others. *************************************************
This is my 100th post since beginning this blog on November 18, 2012. I began this a month after my mother passed away; I had been writing, but my feelings and such were mixed in with my creative writing on Tale Spinning. You may, or may not know, that the Rabbi I had just begun seeing. She asked me to try and write in the first person, not hiding anything in my fiction. As that was not what Tale Spinning is about, I created this blog four days after meeting with her.
What does this mean for me? 100+ days have passed (as I have not written every single day, though I have tried) since starting this blog, plus the extra month. I wonder if this blog has just about run it’s course, and I ask myself that on the days that I feel I have nothing to write, nothing to give. I know I will not place an extra burden on myself by continuing this just for the sake of continuing. It needs to have meaning for me; this has never been about getting a large number of readers, but just a way to find some catharsis in releasing, in self examination, in being as open and honest as I possibly can.
I hope that while I continue this it remains helpful to others. Some have written to me, either here or in private communications, telling me that this has been important for them, in various ways. For that, I am glad.
I want to thank: Rabbi Pam for (inadvertently) starting me on this path; all my friends, whose caring has helped see me through this dark time; and you, the readers who I’ve gotten to “know” through comments and those of you who read but keep to yourself. For all: from Talking to God, by Naomi Levy (c):
“Please, God, help me to recognize my strength. May I always remember that no matter how far I have fallen, no matter how bleak my life may seem, no matter how lost I feel, that I can always begin again. Amen.“
Thank you for being here with me. I hope you find the strength within yourself and are able to continue sharing it with others.
Posted on March 15, 2013, in Caring, counseling, Despair, Fear, Grief, Healing, Inspiration, Loneliness, Meditations, Mindfulness, Support, Therapy, Transformation, Uncategorized and tagged anxiety, caring, compassion, concern, counseling, depression, emptiness, Fear, frightened, giving thanks, God, hope, Poetry, rededication, strength, Talking to God. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.