Burdens (100th post)

Art by Rebeca Rebouche

Art by Rebeca Rebouche

Etched into the face

The eyes
The shoulders, tensed
Fingers rigidly grasped
Broadcasting
Observed, 
Those who see
Who are aware
Who open up beyond themselves
Who are concerned.
 
Unfathomable to so many
An abyss lies before them
What they see is the darkness
That they detour
Avoid
Move away from
Not understanding
The darkness is the abyss
As the abyss is that someone
Who could not detour
Avoid
Move away
Who is in that abyss
Plunging down.
 
Light comes in many forms
But it has to be taken in
Wished for
Prayed for
Delivered
By one’s own doings
It is a burden
On top of so many others.
 
*************************************************

This is my 100th post since beginning this blog on November 18, 2012. I began this a month after my mother passed away; I had been writing, but my feelings and such were mixed in with my creative writing on Tale Spinning. You may, or may not know, that the Rabbi I had just begun seeing. She asked me to try and write in the first person, not hiding anything in my fiction. As that was not what Tale Spinning is about, I created this blog four days after meeting with her.

What does this mean for me? 100+ days have passed (as I have not written every single day, though I have tried) since starting this blog, plus the extra month. I wonder if this blog has just about run it’s course, and I ask myself that on the days that I feel I have nothing to write, nothing to give. I know I will not place an extra burden on myself by continuing this just for the sake of continuing. It needs to have meaning for me; this has never been about getting a large number of readers, but just a way to find some catharsis in releasing, in self examination, in being as open and honest as I possibly can.

I hope that while I continue this it remains helpful to others. Some have written to me, either here or in private communications, telling me that this has been important for them, in various ways. For that, I am glad.

I want to thank: Rabbi Pam for (inadvertently) starting me on this path; all my friends, whose caring has helped see me through this dark time; and you, the readers who I’ve gotten to “know” through comments and those of you who read but keep to yourself. For all: from Talking to God, by Naomi Levy (c):

Please, God, help me to recognize my strength. May I always remember that no matter how far I have fallen, no matter how bleak my life may seem, no matter how lost I feel, that I can always begin again. Amen.

Thank you for being here with me. I hope you find the strength within yourself and are able to continue sharing it with others.

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About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on March 15, 2013, in Caring, counseling, Despair, Fear, Grief, Healing, Inspiration, Loneliness, Meditations, Mindfulness, Support, Therapy, Transformation, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I love your reflections, Stuart, and your frankness I find refreshing and real. I do hope you will continue to write here and inspire others with your thoughts and words.
    Blessings!

  2. You can always either post as often (or as little) as you feel, or move the format more toward sharing inspirational resources and commentary with readers. Blogging is a personal thing, so do what makes you happy and don’t let it become just one more chore. 🙂

  3. Keep going, Stuart, but only when you feel like it. Writing about feelings can run its course or seem more like a burden than a relief.. I think it’s been brave of you to share them with your readers, and important to those of us who can relate to what you’ve been going through.

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