There Are Days…
“A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.” ~Aesop
“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.” —Paulo Coelho
Yesterday I made dinner for a High School friend who lost her father only a week ago. She has been staying with her mother through the week. This is the same person who wrote that compassionate letter to me (see HERE) when we were only 17. We talked about our parents, about forgiveness, about High School, about ourselves, now, and all that is wrapped up in being “our age.” I know that I was barely eating a week after my mother passed away, and she also picked at her food. My hope is that our time together was beneficial for her, in some way.
It was for me, in a number of ways. I wish and pray for only the best for her, her mother and brother, as they go through this and continue on. It may not be much, but it is what I can do.
There are so many things sizzling in my head: two consulting jobs that are compteting with each other (and have their own headaches attached to them); no work past June at the moment; paying bills; removing the clutter of so many years (mainly my mother’s, but also my own); and then…
…there are the issues I am going through mentally/emotionally, dealing with spirituality, prayer, forgiveness, bereavement, and bouts, still, of anxiety, depression &/or despair.
Besides the daily prayers, I just started a 21 day meditation program instituted by Deepak Chopra & Ophrah. So far, coming on Day 4, I’m not sure about this, but it is only asking 16 minutes of my day. I will stick it out and see what it brings. It is way too early in the process to judge it one way or the other.
Overall, I’m still feeling listless and without direction. It gnaws at me, and I get frustrated. My days are often filled with worry: today, just not a good one. I looked for some guidance, some succor: I just opened up Talking to God by Naomi Levy, and this is the prayer (pg 249) that I came upon:
“I want to know You, God. I want to see the world through Your eyes. To feel intimately involved in all of creation. I want to know why things happen the way they do.
Help me, God, to accept what I cannot understand, to accept life without constantly trying to control it. Teach me how to bend with life, how to repair what I can repair, how to live with my questions, how to rejoice in Your wonders.
When I am faced with events that baffle and astound me, help me to transform my frustration into humility and awe. Teach me to embrace the mystery, God. Remind me to enjoy the ride.
Thank You, God, for this spectacular life. Amen.”
How do you enjoy the ride?
Posted on March 14, 2013, in Caring, counseling, Despair, Family, Friends, Grief, Healing, Loneliness, Love, Meditations, Mindfulness, Prayers, Spiritual, Support, Transformation, Uncategorized and tagged anxiety, caring, compassion, concern, coping, counseling, death, depression, frustration, God, hope, jobless, jobs, Loneliness, patience, searching for work, Talking to God, unempolyment. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.