This has just been a day.
If you’ve had one, you’ll understand what I mean, that no adjective affixed before the word “day” would really do it justice. Starting off with having to leave a place I really didn’t want to leave this morning, through a depressing drive home, unexpected bills & repairs awaiting me when I did arrive home, and then a series of phone calls, emails, and a knock on the door, ending with one of those cryptic “we have to talk” messages from a freelance job I have coming up.
I hate those type of messages: if you have enough time to write the message, then give me a clue as to what it is about. An ex-supervisor of mine loved doing that: she’d leave a message in the very early a.m., and anyone who got it would freak by the time the actual conversation, usually at the end of the day, would occur. It was her way of keeping people off balance.
So, really, with everything that has gone on…enough already.
I’m tired of all this. Tired of feeling overwhelmed and burdened with stuff that should just roll off my back, but too much at one time is just that: too much.
Two prayers, from Talking to God, by Naomi Levy (c), ran through my head after that last email.
“Be with me, God. I feel so lost. I can’t seem to escape the dark cloud that is hanging over me today. Help me, God. Give me strength to combat despair and fear. Show me how to put my pain into perspective. Teach me to have faith in the new day that is coming. Thank you, God, for today’s blessings, for tomorrow’s hope, and for Your abiding love. Amen.”
“When I panic, God, teach me patience. When I fear, teach me faith. When I doubt myself, teach me confidence. When I despair, teach me hope. When I lose perspective, show me the way-back to love, back to life, back to You. Amen.”
It does help to say these out loud, and it does help me to write them out, to share them. What would also help is either a full time job or winning the lottery.
In keeping perspective of today: I had started to read Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle” this weekend. I’m in the first 100 pages, but the tragedies that the family goes through, the greed and utter lack of humanity shown in the book, the brutality, greed, poverty…the degradations that people could so easily inflict on another….that is what made me cringe, so much more so than the description of the way food was handled. I know there are people in the world who still suffer like the families in the book did at the early part of the 20th century, and before.
So, my cloud over my head may pale in comparison, and I do feel for others. Just wish there were some easy answers to it all.
Posted on February 19, 2013, in Anger, Caring, counseling, Despair, Family, Fear, Grief, Loneliness, Meditations, Mindfulness, Prayers, Therapy, Transformation and tagged anger, anxiety, coping, counseling, depression, emptiness, Fear, frightened, frustration, God, jobless, jobs, Loneliness, mental health, patience, searching for work, strength, Talking to God, unempolyment. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.