Bad Dreams Are Made Of This

salvador

We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.”
~Nelson Mandela

Another bad dream has me feeling out of sorts this morning. It again involved my mother, with the added bonus of my dad appearing in the latter part of the whole thing. I’m just going to leave it that there were arguments, ill feelings, with my mom…and when my dad appeared, it was just a quieter scene. All in all, it has left me feeling like I didn’t sleep at all.

One thing that has popped up, in the dreams I have carried with me, is something that reoccurs: in an anxiety driven dream I am forgetting someone’s name or giving them a different name. It is usually the former, and it almost always involves their last name, in that I’m trying to reach them and just can’t. I looked up this dream phenomena: the Dream Moods Dictionary says:

To dream that you forget your name or someone else’s name suggests that you are feeling overwhelmed and burdened.  It may also indicate that you have forgotten your true self or your family roots.

So, yes and yes to both overwhelmed and burdened.

As to having forgotten my true self, I believe that to have been true these last four plus months, if not longer. I’m facing a future where I’m trying to figure out where I belong, what I should be doing, alongside the whole thing that not a whole lot of options are presenting themselves to me as of yet.

In the belief in God, my friends who strongly believe tell me of God’s plan, that it will all happen in due time. Don’t push it, have and be patient. What I’m not sure of in these moments is the idea of “what do I do/don’t do?” that is within the parameters or outside of it. What do I push for that is the plan, and what am I doing that is against it?

OK…that, already, has given me a slight headache.

I need to be doing something beyond what I’m doing right now, and I just don’t know what the answer is. So…am I overwhelmed and burdened? Yes…a lot of it by my own hand, in not being more patient.

Two and a half years is a long time to be patient, but time is a man made construct and abstract.

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About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on February 18, 2013, in Anger, Caring, counseling, Despair, Family, Grief, Healing, Loneliness, Prayers, Spiritual, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Two and half years was about the time I waited between finishing my novel and finally having a publisher pick it up. There were many questions I had for God during this waiting; it was frustrating and depressing at times because I knew I had winning novel. What a friend told me helped a lot. She reminded me that this is not just about me, it’s about God putting everything and people in place in His time. I pray He opens your path soon!
    Blessings!

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