Scars

“My wounds may heal, God, but my scars may never fade. Help me to embrace them, not despise them. Teach me how to live with my scars, how to tend to them, how to learn from them.

Remind me that I have the power to turn my curses into blessings, my shame into pride, my sadness into strength, my pain into compassion. Amen.”  ~from Talking to God by Naomi Levy (c)

FlagationDealing With the Inner Child of Our Past, by Dr. Calvin Metcalf (as posted on my friend’s (Allan Douglas) blog: click on the title) and a conversation that I had with an old friend this week has me being introspective in regards to the scars I carry around. As my SO mentioned, in her response to that same blog: “…let go of the grudges and bitterness which we tend to hold onto throughout our lives. We cannot erase the past, but we can attempt to change the way we think about it and react to it.”

The above prayer was one of those that Rabbi Pam gave to me, in our first meeting. It had been one of the more difficult ones for me to say, often skipping over it, as I wasn’t ready to confront the things I have carried around. As many of us, there are times we are better equipped to handle certain things, and other times it again becomes that ONE MORE THING to deal with.

Scars are not always visible. They can be see physically in body images, tics, patterns of how we do certain things, react in certain ways. I find that my comfort level in being in my room is something I’ve carried with me from childhood, and it is this habit of hiding I’m trying to break out of. One of the things.

The inside scars are the ones we keep from most people.

It’s funny: I have a scar on the side of my forehead that is left from when I fell, as a child. I have no problem with showing it, or telling the story of how I was chasing a childhood friend in her apartment, and I slipped on her jump rope, sending my head into the L shape of the hallway wall. The cut sent blood streaming, and I remember my mother and my mother’s friend coming running. I think I got yelled at for running in the house, and the “see what happens?” speech. I’m not sure, as some memories are easily colored by overall impressions of parenting from so long ago, but I think that was the case. Sure, there was the fussing and concern, but I’m pretty sure the “I told you so” was there.

Breaking the patterns of how we react is important, as was stated above. Doing what I can, now, to move on my life, to find a certain amount of freedom from negative things of the past, is a goal to achieve.

We carry around our scars. What we do with them is up to us.
What scars do you carry?

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About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on February 10, 2013, in Anger, counseling, Despair, Family, Fear, Grief, Healing, Loneliness, Meditations, Prayers, Spiritual, Support, Therapy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. It is interesting how we are much more open about physical scars Stuart. I hadn’t really thought of it like that before. I think the problem is we expect our inner spiritual and emotional scars to be fully healed often before they are. They do need, as your prayer says, tending and care. How brave of you to start look at the wounds, healed or not!

    • As Lisa wrote below, the physical are visable. Not as easy to hide them away. Not sure how brave I am, just introspective and knowing I have to deal with them. Thanks Bonnie

  2. When I look back on my childhood what often leaps first to mind are the bad times; the bullies the; the teasing, the girls who laughed at my attempts to talk to them, the injuries… but when I think hard about it, there were FAR more wonderful times; a close family, great experiences, a few good friends, even our nomadic lifestyle gave me a vast insight into people and what made them tick. as you say, we need to understand our childhood experiences, but not let them control our adult lives.

  3. Perhaps the most important thing is to bring them to light and examine them closely, talk about them. Physical scars are visible, people ask about them, and one way or another we are forced to come to terms and live with them. When they are hidden, no one asks about them, they stay secret and mysterious and even shameful.

  4. very nice.
    -Portia

  5. I think that it is all about opening your heart. Wounds heal faster with an open heart.

  6. Hi Stuart:
    You’re right about scars not being visible. Some our emotional scars. We all have them. It’s how we deal with them. The best thing you can do to release them is what you are doing. Writing about them. Writing at all. Any kind of art can be cathartic. Glad to see you are keeping up w/this blog, Stuart. It can only help you move forewrd.

    Chris

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