Snow, Alone

“There are often times, O God, when I feel alone, and yet I know in my heart that I am never alone. You are always there waiting for me to speak to You of my desires, hopes and dreams.

Yet how seldom do I reach out to You to voice my gratitude for all that is beautiful in my life…all the gifts of my life. Love, family, friendship have come from You.

But the greatest gift of all is Your presence, which time and again has given me strength, faith and courage.

Now, in the midst of doubt and confusion, I need to know that You are beside me in the depth of my being. With You there, I know I am not alone-ever.

My Friend, my strength, my God.”  ~ from Gates of Healing

I have struggled with this prayer, as I have with some others, since Rabbi Pam gave me the book Gates of Healing after my mother’s death. In meeting with her this week, we talked about interpretations, finding my own meanings in the prayers I have chosen, or were chosen for me, to say. She talked of how the great Rabbi’s of the past have “riffed” on passages, giving them context to the situations of their lives at that time.

One thing she said, when I confessed  my confusion of still not finding the belief so deeply in God as others around me: look as God within the faces/presence of those who surround me, who offer me love and caring and goodness of their hearts. Not as an abstract, but placed before me in the people who are here. It took me off to the side, examining her words, and this prayer came to mind, and has been very strong the last few mornings.

What has given me strength, faith and courage in the midst of all that I’ve gone through are those loved ones, friends and family, known or internet only known, who have been there for me. If, as she says, God shows his presence, then yes, God has, time and again, given me that greatest gift.

This, by the way, was not the interpretation we discussed. I’ll save that for another post, as I’m still mulling it over, and want to pull my thoughts and feelings together.

Today is a snow day, as we are awaiting a blizzard of EPIC proportions (epic is for the newscasters who are predicting doom and gloom). I’ll be home, alone (hence the title of this piece), writing, sending out resumes, reading, and contemplating things, and at times, just watching the snow come down.

blizzard_trees102606There is a beauty in snow falling

When you can sit back and just watch it fall

It drifts, blows, gathers

And the silence it brings,

The clean coat covering,

The softness spreads out before you.

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About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on February 8, 2013, in Caring, counseling, Family, Friends, Grief, Healing, Inspiration, Loneliness, Prayers, Psalms, Spiritual, Support, Therapy, Transformation and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. A great reminder to us that even when we don’t “feel” God, He is always there with us. We just need to reach out.
    Blessings, Stuart!

  2. First of all please stay safe and warm Stuart. We’ve been hearing some serious weather reports here on the west coast!
    I can sympathise with you on this one Stuart. I too struggled with this because I firmly believe that we all come to our faith in our own way and that this is how it is meant to be. Listen to the voice of your heart and soul and it will help you find your own way. For me a Church is a lovely place to visit and I find inspriation there but that isn’t where I find my connection to my faith. I find it when I am immersed in nature. It took me a long time to realize I can hold both.

    • Glad you found your peace with all of this, Bonnie. it’s what I’m trying to ascertain and take in.

      As to the snow, I’m in a PJ only frame of mind. No venturing out for me. Plenty of food, books, DVD’s and things to do. Cleaning? Who said that???

      Thanks Bonnie.

  3. I find that the folks that seek the Supreme Being’s presence are looking too hard- or for the wrong things. When you see that snow falling today, remember that this is a gift- or a curse- from the SB. And, therein lies the paradox. Whether something is a gift or a curse is a function of how WE behold it. Yes, when an infant dies, it is a terrible tragedy. But, if that infant were to suffer a horrible, tortuous death in a day, a week, or a month- wasn’t this preferable? You get the idea.
    Notice the presence of the SB in every interaction you have. That’s the trick.

  4. Both the prayer and your poem bring me a sense of calm. Thank you Stuart. I badly needed that. Stay safe and warm!

  5. Wise words Stu. Rarely do we meet God in a burning bush, but often He is reflected in the eyes of those around us.

  6. Aww this is a beautiful post!

  7. There is a certain peace in the falling snow; especially here in Serbia. For just an afternoon, it blankets all the city-inspired ugliness, trash, litter, dirt and debris. Yes, it’s important to remember to take solace in it, even if it that peace is temporary.

  8. It is the small moments of life that can be magical, isn’t it. Snow is part of this. I also find peace in watching, just for a few seconds, my kids sleeping.

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