“I am too quick to anger, God. I need to learn how to control my temper. In my rage, I have said hurtful things that I deeply regret. And there is no way to erase the hateful words I have spoken. I cause pain to those I love. I [constantly] sabotage myself.
Help me, God. I am ashamed of my behavior. Teach me how to master my rage. Show me how to breathe deeply, how to find calm.
Lead me, God, to patience and restraint. Remind me that I have the power to contain my fury. Help me to see that there is a way to express anger with dignity and grace. Help me to believe that I can change. Fill me with humility, God, to seek forgiveness from those I have hurt.
Soften my heart, God; fill me with Your comfort. Guide me on the path to goodness, to compassion, to love, to honor, and to peace. Amen.”
~from Talking to God by Naomi Levy (c)
There are a lot of seemingly arrogant, reckless drivers on the road. Nothing new, I know, but I find myself starting to lose my temper again, cursing in the car, yelling at them (windows down), from the fear of either the careless disregard for anyone else on the road, or near brushes that set my teeth on edge. I’ve seen people go through red lights, make right turns from the left lane, cutting off the person in front, or visa versa, cruise down a residential street at highway speeds, and just a whole variety of potentially dangerous maneuvers.
This is not about a list of the bad and reckless out there-and I’ve done my own share of bone head moves in the past-but how I cope with it.
Yes, venting can be a good thing, especially if you’ve had a near collision. Your heart is pounding, and I know, for myself, verbally venting does help. But, in the long run: these are very negative words, and I’ve caught myself saying a few things that has stopped me: I’ve immediately apologized to God for saying them.
Since mid October, little was bothering me in outside of myself. I might mention something, but on the whole, it remained in. Calm in feeling numb. As it is lifting, I find the aspects of anger blooming again, and it bothers me. Part of it surfaces in other areas of how I view certain things: we all get angry, but the degree that we do, and how we voice it (as in the prayer above, venting it in a way that is more with dignity and grace and still be cathartic) is a thing I am catching in myself little by little.
Counting to ten is not something that ever worked for me.
How do you handle your anger?
The Opening of Doors 
I rarely become angry, but when I do, it’s almost always when someone pulls an idiotic and dangerous move on the road. That’s when words I don’t wish to say spill out and I quickly have to ask God for forgiveness. I think managing/understanding our anger begins when we always go to God for that forgiveness and the strength to not give in to our negative impulses.
I so enjoyed your post, Stuart, and will sign up to follow you on e-mail.
Blessings to you!
Thank you, Martha. Yeah, I’ve been finding I am doing that. Shutting down immediately and saying “Sorry, God.” Then getting all sheepish…yesh. I hope you find enough of my other posts/rants worth reading.
Check out Zelig Pliskin’s (Aish director, Jerusalem) two books- one on anger and the other a 9 step program to counter anger. You can get them from your library.
Thanks, Roy. I’ll look them up.
Silly, but in college we used to try and think up alternatives like calling someone a “troglodyte” or “supercilious toad”. I don’t suppose name-calling falls in line with “turning the other cheek”, but it did defuse the situation – and gave our brains a diversion 🙂
Just little bits of control is what I need, a bit at a time. Better for the blood pressure. 🙂
You could just make up new words like “friggledips” or whatever. You get to release the anger and make new words at the same time.
I don’t find myself getting angry but internalize it as stress. That being said I’m forever going do the path to find some sort of way to de-stress. 🙂
De-stressing is what it’s all about now, Momma.
Context. I ask myself is “this” worth it, worth my energy. Then I go to my happy place.
It’s just the bursts…not something I want to happen. I need a happy place to go to.