Failings: One More Thing…

Soar%20Like%20an%20Eagle[1]“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure ithout losing your enthusiasm.”

~ Sir Winston Churchill

“There is no failure except in no longer trying. “

~ Elbert Hubbard

“There are no failures – just experiences and your reactions to them.”

~ Tom Krause

What does a Car, a Computer, Steam Pipes and Faucets have in common? They are all in need of repair, of one sort or the other. I probably could add more to that list, but I’m trying not to. What anyone who has not suffered depression can really understand is this: no matter how trivial it may seem to you, to someone depressed or prone to anxiety, it is just ONE MORE THING (notice the capital and bolded letters), not just one more thing.

I wish I didn’t feel like this. These things happen-intellectually, I know that-and they need to be taken care of. But, when you feel a certain way, when you are not on solid grounding, when things are still uneven in your life…they are extra stress components that stometimes are hard to deal with. When it all falls on you, alone, to take care of that and everything else you need to do…every one more thing just becomes too much. Overwhelming.

My computer is crashing, and might need to be replaced. This is being written on a different computer that I have access to today. I might have to miss some days, so…this is just an FYI.

If you thought this was about personal failings, I’m trying not to go there. My life does have a lot of positives in it, and the things I know I need to work on, I am doing my best. As others have mentioned, working on my positives to make them stronger is what I’m doing; taking care not to foster or support any of my negative traits is also part of this, keeping clear of the paths I need to follow.

What I find bizarre are all the things that are “failing” at the same time, all in one time period. This happens through life: the saying “when it rains, it pours” was made for just this thing.

I’m tired of it pouring.

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About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on January 30, 2013, in Despair, Fear, Grief, Healing, Inspiration, Meditations and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. Bizarreness! Earlier this morning I sent you something about storms and soaring. And then this arrives in my inbox. Afterward. I’m seeing the “Storm” theme between the two as significant.

    Perhaps something more helpful: When you are feeling overwhelmed by the tasks needing to be done or failing items, write them out on post-its or index cards, or scraps of paper. Then arrange them in order of importance. Put them in a stack (this is important, don’t spread them out, stack them), most important on top. Focus on ONE task at a time, try not to look at them as a mass and they won’t overwhelm you.

    • Alan: I haven’t tried the index cards. Normally, I either let it all mash up inside my head or I’ll make one long list…and yeah, that piece of To Do paper can set me off. I’ll give it a shot. Thanks.

      And yes…I had JUST finished writing the above post when I found your email. Just.

  2. I like Allan’s suggestion. I completely understand, of course. The more “one more things” there are the more I feel like hiding under the covers and simply giving up. The smallest things set me off now. I wish I could fix that, but I feel like I’m not going to survive the storm.

    • Stu, 2 years ago amidst the grief of my losses, my condo flooded, my car crapped out, my dog died, my boyfriend sucked . . . As I stood in the middle of the chaos I started to laugh, the ONE MORE THING was always there. I asked any one who would listen, “when does the tragic tip into ludicrous?” Sometimes it’s so much it becomes funny. I could barely get myself out of bed, dishes were monumental, people around me just didn’t get it. And then I laughed, a deep, soul cleansing, gut busting explosion. Things were still overwhelming, but each ONE MORE THING became funny. And I realized Not all of it needed my immediate attention. If you can, find a bit of funny 😊. Love you!

      • I wish I could find the laughter in all this, Molly. Maybe down the road, but right now….major ugh. I’m doing my best to just not let it sink me like concrete shoes. Love you too.

    • If I can do it, so can you. I know how hard it is, how the smallest things can make you crazy and want to hide.

  3. I am sending you positive vibes from London, Stuart. I have learned the hard way that things can always get worse, which seems to be what is happening to you. That said, eventually, everything will improve. My grandmother used to say that it will get worse before it gets better. Turns out, she was right.

  4. I have had years like that Stu. I remember the worst was the year I was in graduate school, working a full time and two part time jobs, and my daughter got married, I had gallbladder surgery a week later, and my dad died. I thought I was going to explode from being so overwhelmed. Time passed though, as it always does, and my mantra got me through it all.

    I kept repeating over and over….this, too, shall pass. And it did. Positive things started happening, my mood began to turn, and my life went on.

    I wish you well, send you hugs, and hope that this, too, shall pass for you very soon.

  5. I’ve been there. And it wasn’t all that long ago. The rain does stop and the skies do clear. I found if I just did one small thing a day just for me, it helped me cope. Like walking. Or being around my friends dogs before I had my own. Things that seems utterly stupid to everyone but me. Hoping the sun peeks through soon!

  6. The clouds will be cleared soon.
    -Portia

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