In The Blink Of The Eye…
I still find myself drawn into maudlin moods even though I know I’m starting to claw out of the muck. I do hear all the positive words being bandied about me, around me. On an interview, I had more vindication, being told that my writing skills were superb (having sent in three writing samples, as requested). In a classroom, I’ve had kids tell me they liked how I teach (which is rare, but I’ve had a few). The Rabbi, therapist, and the resume counselor all have given me compliments and praise. I hear the positive words from loved ones, friends…and while it does not fall on deaf ears, it still does not always reach into the core of my being.
I’m a work in progress.
Passing by a church this morning, with a funeral procession waiting to leave, sent me to dark places. I was back in the hospital room, and I could not go there, not when driving on wet, possibly icy roads, with others playing around me. It took a bit to get that out of my mind. I found that I turned to some positive “mantra” phrases, some of the prayers I know bits and pieces of, and did my best to throw the negative thoughts out of my mind. I succeeded, and was able to push them out of the way.
I am looking forward to this happening less and less.
Do you have a personal mantra that you draw strength from?
Posted on January 16, 2013, in Caring, Despair, Fear, Grief, Healing, Loneliness, Meditations, Mindfulness, Prayers, Spiritual, Support, Uncategorized and tagged anxiety, caring, compassion, concern, coping, Counsling, death, depression, emptiness, Fear, frightened, giving thanks, God, hope, Loneliness, love, mental health, strength, Talking to God. Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.