Rebirth, Sixth Light, Sixth Night (and a blog award)
Banu choshech l’gareish B’yadeinu ohr va-eish Kol echad hu ohr katan V’chulanu ohr eitan Shurah choshech hal’ah sh’chor Surah mipnei ha-ohr We’ve come to banish the darkness with light and fire in our hands. Each one is a tiny light, but all of us are a mighty light. Make way, o’darkness! Away, o blackness! Make way before the light!
Today was the polar opposite of yesterday, with many positive moments sustaining the day. I had an extremely productive meeting in regards to my resume this morning, had an awesome meeting with a woman who has dedicated her life to helping others and was an excellent listener as well as giving feedback. I worked on the resume this afternoon, applied to a couple of jobs, made some physical changes for something upcoming (more on that in a post to come), and had our evening Chanukah ceremony (the “our” is, again, Lisa, Adam & Alexis).
The reading from A Different Light, while titled “Dedicated to Rebirth-the Bedroom”…well, that left us all a little cold, and in some respects disappointed and scared. It related too much about taking last breaths, dying and being reborn in the morning…and, in all honesty, I censored a lot of it as I was reading it out loud. I should have read it beforehand, but I haven’t with the other nights, wanting to experience the free form poetry they set out as new for me each time.
With the title, I was expecting more…uplifting. A rebirth of the spirit, more lights in the Menorah, giving a rebirth out of the darkness, a pathway to finding new hope, new purpose. So, while I have appreciated much of the other readings, I must leave this one behind. Yes, we will all die. Fact of the way things will happen, but in just losing my mother, and for those of you out there who have suffered other loses, each of us in our own threshold of pain and grief and how we are dealing with it….what WE should have is a rebirth of our own spirits, coming back to ourselves, finding our ways again. Missing the one(s) gone, yes, that will remain with us, but if we are just wallowing in that grief, we can’t really honor their memory, but live in our own loss.
Rebirth, to me, is finding myself again, after being so lost, for so long. I’ve been so much to other people, but I really haven’t been there for me, and I really don’t know who I am or who I want to be, or should be. That, to me, is so much more productive, and if I am on the right spiritual path, then it is the one I should be holding onto and embracing.
That is what this night means to me.
“Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.” ~ Dalai Lama
I was given this blog award by the absolutely wonderful Muriel Jacques, whose blog A French Yummy Mummy in London (yes, that is the real title) has been one of the pleasures I discovered in joining a FB group called PBAU (Personal Bloggers Are Us). A nicer bunch of people you could not find, and they have been putting up with my erratic posting schedule for a long time. Right now, with this blog, I post every day, and I hope they forgive me for it (we’re only really supposed to post on Wednesdays). There is just something about that group that makes me want to share with them.
So, thank you Muriel and all the others. I truly appreciate being part of your experiences.
I’m supposed to pass things on, and a little list of things to do. I will honor this, but after Chanukah is over. I just did not want to pass up the chance to say Thank You. I am not writing this blog for awards or recognition, but to get myself through the darkness. This award…it’s special to me right now.
Posted on December 14, 2012, in Caring, Family, Friends, Healing, Inspiration, Love, Meditations, Mindfulness, Prayers, Spiritual, Support, Therapy and tagged atonement, being in the moment, bravery, caring, Chanukah, cherishing, compassion, concern, coping, finding yourself, focus, giving thanks, God, Hanukkah, lighting candles, love, mental health, patience, pure soul, Rebirth, strength, understanding. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.