Confrontations & Breathing

Conflit 3Today was a day of confrontations
None of them had to happen.
All could have been handled differently,
But there were attitudes that needed to explode
Express their power, or thoughts,
That put another way
Could have led to very different outcomes.
 
Right now it doesn’t take a lot
To cause self doubt and dismay:
A harsh word or judgment
A dismissal, as if I have no value
A promise not kept, from family, friend, or “professional”,
And the confrontational attitude of others
Makes me cringe.
 
I’ve been having confrontations with myself
For far too long
Far too long
Dealing with aspects of the present and the past
The dealings with both parents, both now gone
The dealings with how I’ve handled certain things
In all aspects of my life,
Paths taken, and paths avoided,
And while trying to find the way to deal with them
Trying to let them go,
Let the power they still have over me, go
…and at times thinking I’ve succeeded…
I pull myself in, sucker punched, again,
And allow the confrontations to resurface.
 
 
Try to breathe it through
Count the breaths in, and out
Count the breaths in, and out
Again…
Find that quiet corner of your mind during the counting
Concentrate only on the breaths,
The counts,
Find some peace
And keep moving forward
 

The above is a reaction to an actual confrontations I had today. One was with someone first thing this morning; other one was with a small group much later in the day. It took a lot of strength to make it through the work day; it all just added to how I’m feeling about everything else.

I tried not to let it throw me off. I did get some much needed support from someone else at this location, and to them I say a huge THANK YOU, and I’m sending off a mental hug, good wishes and prayers, for their help.

I went off,  read some of the prayers, and tried to breath it out. This writing is also my attempt to try to breath it out. Breathing as a calming tool, as a meditation, is a practice I know and teach but don’t use nearly as much as I should with myself.

Excuse me while I let out the bad air, and try to bring in the good.

 
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About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on December 6, 2012, in Caring, Fear, Friends, Healing, Meditations, Mindfulness, Prayers, Spiritual, Support, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. STU, Prayers for peace and succesful remediation of these conflicts, and for your peace and development

  2. Stuart I think this is really the last thing you need right now but it sounds like you’re handling yourself with grace. The Dalai Lama said “do not let the behaviors of other destroy your inner peace’. That has stayed with me and I’ve learned that sometimes you have to let others own their own stuff. xoxo. Blessings

  3. I agree: today was a work day I just did not need. I won’t go into what happened, not here…but boy, it was way too much in one day. Thanks for the blessings, Bonnie

  4. Rough day, to be sure.
    Now: that past is past. History. Done. Don’t dwell on it.
    The future is yet unwritten. Don’t fret about it.
    All you need be concerned with at this moment is this moment.
    Your actions, your words, your thoughts now will determine the course of the future.

  5. Well, we all have bad days. In the, end, it is all about perseverance…Take care & take it easy on yourself.

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