Patience & Prayers

This goes with being in the moment
As there are things I just have little to no patience for or with
Where waiting for that answer just doesn’t happen soon enough
When people don’t fulfill what they said they would do
Why things don’t go according to any schedule…
And it adds to my anxiety
And time ticks away with the pounding of fast heart rate
Tight chest and stressed out head
 

So my son and daughter-in-law got rear ended on their way home from Thanksgiving weekend. He called, but is short with me, as my stress level rises, my concern for their well being adding another level of anxiety. He hears it, and I’m sure it’s too much for what the two of them (and their dog) are going through. I want to call, to drive out the seven hours, to make sure they are OK…but they are adults, and a father’s job has to be to allow his adult children to be adults. Handle what they can, listen to when they are stressed, help if I’m asked for help. (Just heard from them: the car can be fixed, but it will take awhile. They are shaken, not stirred, and having been in my share of accidents, I can understand a bit about how they feel. They’ll get past this).

Be patient.

“When I feel weak, teach me I am strong. When I am shattered assure me that I can heal. When I am weary, renew my spirit. When I am lost, show me that You are near. Amen.” ~from Talking to God (I THINK by Naomi Levy)
 

For those that know me, praying like this, using prayers, is nothing I’ve ever really done in my life. I have  found, though, that I am surrounded and have been surrounded by so many who prayer and belief in God is a daily given. I sometimes feel disingenuous that I have been searching this out, now, at a very weak point of my life, when in the past I’ve scoffed at it all. Or if not scoffed, just haven’t had the faith and belief that others have had. I’ve questioned, searched, and found little that gives me peace.

This has been, little by little. Sharing it with my SO, who will hold my hand when I say them out loud or silently (when we are together) or over Skype when we’re not. Sharing it with my best friend. It helps. I can’t say to what extent, but it helps.

 

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About StuHN

I am a creative individual with many areas of passion: Professional Storyteller; NYS Certified Drama Specialist/Educator; Professional Development Coordinator & Facilitator; Workshop Leader; sometime Puppeteer; Playwright; Director; Performer; Teaching Artist; and sometimes more.

Posted on November 26, 2012, in Caring, Counsling, Family, Fear, Friends, Grief, Healing, Inspiration, Loneliness, Love, Meditations, Mindfulness, Prayers, Support and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Patience seems to be the most difficult of “virtues” to acquire. Doubly difficult when disaster looms on the horizon in some form. Still, most of us tend to pray or meditate when we need something, be it strength, peace or some sort of answer. Nothing wrong with that – it’s just human nature.

  2. I almost feel guilty commenting on your private thoughts and feelings. Almost. But I know these feelings so well. Long afterward I came to see what I went through, all the losses I suffered as God reaching down, grabbing me by the scruff of the neck and saying, “Alright you, I’ve been patient long enough. Time to get back on track.” It was horrible at the time, but it helped me find God again. I stepped away for a while (15 years) because I was angry with Him. Someone close to me, someone in His service had betrayed me, had betrayed us all. And rather than recognizing his humanity and reaching out in love and forgiveness, I pulled him down from the pedestal on which I’d placed him and turned away. That was wrong. I see it now.

    I feel I’m on the verge of launching into a sermon. I won’t. But I will say that had I not come back to God, I would not have survived. I hope you too will find strength in that relationship.

    • Don’t feel guilty. If I didn’t want people to comment/reach out/share, I would have disabled the comments section. I’m sorry you were betrayed….but I am more than glad you survived. Thank you, Uber.

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